he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
