Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
