All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
