I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Houston, we have a squirter
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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