He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
