we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
