Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
