Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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