She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
