I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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