She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
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Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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