she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
