My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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