Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
