Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
