Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
