i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
