Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
