he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
