dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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