Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
