I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
