two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
