True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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