She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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