if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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