marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
