That's intense
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
