Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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