Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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