I CAN MOONWALK!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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