you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize