Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
