i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So squirting runs in the family.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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