Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
