North Korea, Best Korea!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize