but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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