If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize
