the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
