I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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