jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize