Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
