omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
