she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
