If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
