Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
