Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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