Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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