I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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