So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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