ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
