What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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