dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
