Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
