This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
