u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize